April 8, 2014
It’s been more than a month since I have posted something here. I was going through my drafts and this one caught my attention. This was written almost a year ago when I was writing ‘HER’ childhood. I still remember what all crossed my mind a year back while I was writing this. Unwriting and rewriting few sentences of this article gave me a joy which I generally experience while looking into my archives. There’s no title to this post but since nothing has remained untitled on this blog, I’ll name it ‘HER’ memories.
It was just a wish of visiting a city and being one of those who load up their ears with headphones and travel, dress up the way they want, move in roaring cars, eat to their heart’s content, dream a dream and live it because there’s nothing they are short of- money, opportunities, nothing.
The journey was uncomfortable with over cooled surroundings, tasteless food, unusual cutlery and bottled bitter water. It was probably because it was the first time I sat in an aeroplane. But these things didn’t matter much, after all I was leaving my orphanage and going to the US of A to start a new life, as promised by my foster father. I was wearing an oversized black coat, hip hugging trousers and well polished shoes… shoes which nanny gifted me on my 19th birthday. The breast pocket of the coat had my passport and I checked its presence after every 15 minutes, because I was ordered to take care of it.
The life here was not like what I had thought of. I was sent to a brothel in the very first week and after a month, I stopped counting the number of tortures and rapes which followed. I wish to meet my so-called foster father today. I know where he is, I know what he does to keep his bread buttered. I don’t intend to take revenge, the way they showed in Hindi movies back in India. I just want to tell him that as I write this, I can see a gold ring on my ring finger and there’s nothing left in me from the life he gave. I want to tell him that I gave birth to a child 4 months after my marriage and I live a life of respect. We eat at the nearest restaurant quite often, visit zoo with our child and live the life of happiness, just the way you promised me.
February 22, 2014
Rhyme 'n' Rhythm
चल बेरसिया के मेले चलेंगे,
हँसते-मुस्कुराते क्रीड़ा करेंगे,
चल बेरसिया के मेले चलेंगे।
मेले में पकवान होंगे,
गुब्बारे, झूले, जादूगर,
बंदूकें लिए जवान होंगे।
जेबों में पैसे नहीं तो न सही,
गाड़ी-मोटर नहीं तो न सही,
मिलकर सब साथ, टहले चलेंगे,
चल बेरसिया के मेले चलेंगे।
नर्तकों का रेला होगा,
पशमीनी कपड़े, घोड़े की सवारी
उन्मादी बड़ा ही मेला होगा।
चमड़े के जूते नहीं तो न सही,
चूड़ी, झुमके, चमकीली फ्रॉक नहीं तो न सही,
पायजामे-हवाई पहने चले चलेंगे,
चल बेरसीया के मेले चलेंगे।।
January 21, 2014
People don’t think something like this, specially when they are not even twenty. No doubt, ageing is horrifying but today as I sit here with this gadget on my lap, I’ll write down something which I wish to write again on the day, I turn 60.
I have turned 60 today and like other people of my age group, I love spending time with my family and go out for some shopping. I am now retired and I am happy that till now, I have lived a happy life. My life, obviously, included many downs but the ups which followed them made me stronger and wiser. Today when I look back, there’s hardly any moment which floods my heart with remorse but that doesn’t mean I was perfect or I am perfect now. I should have travelled more, called my relatives on their anniversaries and birthdays, gifted my parents with something unique, wasted less time on idiotic things like facebook or WhatsApp or anything equally useless. I always wanted to be an artist of some sort but had I read and written more of poetry, stories and plays, art would have hit me much before it actually did.
I generally think of my days I spent at college. The day I refused a smoke when it was offered to me the very first time, was actually the day I felt like a man. I have no regrets attached with porn mags or TV series-movies or TED talks. They were a part of my teenage and there’s nothing bad which can be connected with them. Such things made me aware of things around me. There were people who took me seriously and the remaining cracked ‘racist’ jokes. I liked being with both of them. Back then, there used to be some movies we never watched just because they were starred by Akshay Kumar or some Khan… not the romantic one but the one who fought with 25 bad guys alone.
Now after 25 years of education and 35 years of work, I don’t feel retired from the fun I had. I still check out youth shows on TV (they are in no way even close to what we had in those days), abuse my friends when they call and turn around to look at a beautiful woman passing by my side. I don’t want to get back to the young age. I don’t find this age boring at all. I am a young man who has just entered the league of what they call ‘senior citizens’. I play cards with my friends, have my favourite kaju barfi whenever I wish to have, meet college students, visit places with my old digicam which I bought from my first salary and this is what will keep me busy in the days to come. I don’t know how long I’ll live but I wish to sign off from this world with no bitterness or worry, within or around.
January 4, 2014
2014, new year
It generally happens with me that whenever I plan to write a post here, I don’t come up with a strong and impressive line to start with. I typed a few things before this one but everything was ‘backspaced’. The title gives you an idea of what to expect from this post so I won’t give any warning or introduction before I start making bullets and start listing out the three things I will be looking out for in 2014.
The Lok Sabha elections
I have never counted politics in my list of interests but I am a bit excited about the upcoming Lok Sabha general elections. The reason might be the reforms Indian politics is undergoing which includes the sudden evolution of a new political party and inclusion of ‘None of the Above’ option in EVMs and ballot papers. Besides this, like many others, for the first time I’ll be exercising my right of casting a vote to shape the government.
There are many people who don’t support ISRO and its missions, mostly because of the huge amount of money they demand and that too when our recorded GDP growth is only 5%. Well according to me, the spacecraft to Mars or development of a better GPS system add to the national pride. We are no doubt much behind NASA with respect to space technology but at least we are trying to match up. ISRO lined up 18 missions in 15 months, starting from November 2013 and no matter what people say, I’ll be looking out for every successful launch ISRO makes in 2014.
Right to Information Act was passed way back in 2005 and since then lacs of applications have been filed till date. I read about RTI, in detail, in early months of 2013. Like others, I too liked the entire concept of the same but I could understand its importance just a few weeks ago. I don’t know why people don’t practice their rights but I will surely file an RTI in 2014. I don’t know which organisation/department I am going to target but since being a citizen of India, RTI is a right given to me, I’ll practice it.
May 2014 bring happiness in the lives of our family and friends. Happy new year!